Carlotta Leone De Corleone Was born in Tuscany. Tuscany, Michigan, a suburb 45 minutes from Detroit. She was a long baby, 25 inches. She continued to grow to 6′ 2″ tall but thanks to Extreme Makeovers, she had more than a foot sawed off her legs so now she is now only 5′ 2″. Her father was called Don by everyone in the town, although his name was really Ferdinand. Carlotta heard rumors in school that her father was not a supervisor at the Ford factory, but indeed, a bad dude who had people whacked in their private parts by an out-of-date, very hard, turkey salami.
The boys loved to hang out at Carlotta’s house because the Don let them smoke cigars and look at his collection of girlie magazines. Carlotta was embarrassed by her father’s actions, but it did help her win Homecoming Queen at Tuscany High in her junior year. Carlotta’s mother didn’t work because she had a recurring case of shingles, but that didn’t stop her from making fabulous cherry pies.
Carlotta was kicked out of the University of Michigan after she was found naked, tumbling in a campus clothes dryer during pledge week. Thankfully, the second degree burns she received while tumbling, (because the other idiot sorority pledge forgot to put the dryer on air dry), didn’t leave any scars other than a 2 inch one on her left buttocks. Although Carlotta did eventually pic up her MRS degree (wink, wink), at Bullwinkle University on the UP, (Upper Peninsula for you Ohioans), She found married life a tad boring. After popping out a couple of kids, Carlotta took pole dancing lessons to try to spice up her marriage. Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t work out, but Carlotta’s pole dancing career took off at the Bada-Bing Bar in downtown Detroit.
Carlotta’s parents are now raising her two kids.
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