I have my cup of Lady Earl Grey and I am ready to chat.
Many people have told me that some of my posts are like chatting at the fence.
I like that. I love fence chats or porch chats or deck chats. They are one of my favorite things. They keep me going.
When I think about it, I have better chats in those environments. Restaurants are too noisy and impersonal. But sitting on someone’s porch or deck or at the fence, is relaxing.
If I were at my fence this morning, this is what I would take about. If it doesn’t make sense … get with the program! (a little humor). I zig and zag with no order or agenda. Here goes.
Hey, what’s happening?
Are you getting any good birds? We aren’t. Just a couple of goldfinches.
What have you been up to?
Yep, me too. Just trying to live.
Man, I have a cantaloupe that I don’t know if I should cut yet, or not. It is getting wrinkling but still seems hard. You know, it is hard to find a good lope these days? They go from rock hard to rotten. Geesh.
You watching the Olympics?
I get bored. I watched the gymnastics for a few minutes but the whole thing seems so bizarre to me anymore. Yeah, I used to love to watch them to. Remember “Wide World of Sports?” I loved that show.
Just read this morning that a Judo medalist was robbed and beaten up down there. What a mess … and did you see that green water they have to dive into? Yuck. Oh, Nick couldn’t believe they have synchronized diving. He thinks the whole thing is a farce. I am just beyond it. It is hype about the world coming together and stuff. I mean, seriously, the damn Russians and their doping. I read the one guy was peeing purple or blue. Gross. And do you know what those families of the athletes sacrifice for those athletes? It is a really high price to pay. Oh, I did see a split second of badminton and the cock flew by really fast.
What about Trump and the NRA and second amendment statement? And I read Hillarie’s emails show a lot of pay-for-play with Clinton Foundation contributors. Boy, don’t we have the two best candidates in the world? It gets more ridiculous everyday. Heck, this would be funny if it wasn’t real. I guess some other guy is running, too. You know, Trump is old and so is Clinton. I really wish the younger generation would rise up and take over. We’ve had our chance and screwed it all up. The young people need to build their own futures. At least that is what I think today.
Have you eaten anything good lately? Nick made the best chicken dumpling soup and I made chicken salad. Yum. yum. He has a good touch with soup. I think I might make some cookies today.
What are your kids up to?
Is your back feeling any better?
Yep, this getting older is a real party, isn’t it? Too bad lots of things are showing up that weren’t invited. I know. If it isn’t one thing it’s another. Have you noticed that people are farting in public more than they used to? I was at CVS, waiting in line at the pharmacy. A woman standing in front of me let one fly. Sounded like a tuba burp. I only stayed there because I didn’t want to lose my place in line.
Can you believe we talk about farts? My monkey bread, is that what life has come to?
Do you even like people these day?
I hear you. It gets harder and harder, doesn’t it? At least relationships do. I hear you. I think the whole world needs to be put into time-out.
Hear any good jokes?
Yep, me too. Can’t remember a thing.
What are you using for bird food these days?
Your hair looks nice.
I can’t decide whether to keep dyeing mine or let it go grey.
You know, Simon Cowell was really nice to me. I had a dream that I had made the finals of “American Idol” and it was almost time for me to go up and sing and I couldn’t think of a song that I knew the words to. I told a producer I could sing “The Prune” song, but he said that might not go over too well. So, I decided to sing Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘You’ve Got a Friend,'” and I was madly looking up the words and couldn’t find them, so I asked Simon if there was someone else more deserving than I was because I really couldn’t sing anyway and he said that I should relax. I knew they would nail me if I messed up the words. And then it dawned on me that it wasn’t a Simon and Garfunkel song and it was James Taylor’s song.
And then I woke up and decided that was enough of that.
Are you glad you redid your kitchen?
What kind of bird food did you say you used?
Well, I better get to work. Ain’t life grand?
Talk to ya later.